Where Are You Christmas?

I awake to the sound of my phone alarm going off for the third time so I begrudgingly get out of bed. It’s December 25th, also known as Christmas day. Now I don’t mean to sound like the Grinch but today is just another day of the week for me. However I haven’t always felt this way, let’s rewind back to seven year old me. I awake barely having slept all night due to excitement. I run downstairs to see presents piled under the Christmas tree. Of course I was always the first to wake and too impatient to wait for my siblings. I would run to all their rooms waking them up myself. Once everyone was awake my mom would make cinnamon buns and we would watch the parade on T.V. I know it sounds like a movie right? Fast forward to twenty-one year old me living away from home waking up mid afternoon and traveling to my parents house. Once I arrive there I’ll see a pile of presents under the tree all marked for my nieces and nephews. I know it’s not about the presents and I love to see their faces light up when they open theirs. As I watch the joy in their faces I can’t help but feel sad knowing that one day they too will turn into the pessimistic adult I am today. As I get older each year I feel my holiday spirit slipping away. You start to realize that you may not have money to buy presents or if you’re in school all you can think about are finals rather than relaxing by a fire place. It’s not just Christmas either, it’s other holidays too such as Halloween. Once you hit a certain age it’s no longer acceptable for you to run around in a costume collecting candy. Just like now it would be weird if I waited to sit on Santa’s lap. The people around you no longer asking what you will be for Halloween or what you want for Christmas. We’re adults and we need to do adult things. I really wish I could fill myself with holiday cheer but I feel like I’m just going to have to settle for nostalgia and memories. Maybe I need my ghost of Christmas past to come and remind me not to be a Scrooge. I guess at a certain point in time we all wish to rewind the clocks and go back to when things were simple, before finding out that Santa isn’t real, there’s more on T.V then just cartoons and people won’t give you candy for dressing like a princess. As my imagination fades and reality takes over I find myself struggling to feel the joy I once did as a child.

-Melanie S.

Bah humbug.

The most wonderful time of the year –right? Except for some of us the holidays aren’t all that it’s cut out to be. The build up to the holidays sets us up for some great expectations. The Christmas lights, the movies, and the songs are magical. The endless supply of hot chocolate and cookies can be comforting but for some of us something crucial is missing. As an immigrant, I left most of my extended family back home. For many of us the holidays are just a reminder of how alone we are. I’ve bought so much into the holiday spirit that every year is a constant let down. I can’t help but get excited along with all my friends. I count down the days until winter break. I collect all the sparkly holiday cards and I wrap presents for my friends with serious pride. But it’s always a bummer when I can’t share that with a house full of family. It’s so disheartening coming home from work or school to be greeted by an empty house. Even though statistically Christmas is the least miserable day of the year, I’ll be honest I’m not too excited for it this year. All I truly want is my friends and family dressed in ugly sweaters around a dinner table filled high with mashed potato. Is that too much to ask for?!

But in all seriousness, I think I’ve gotten to the age where I have to start creating traditions for myself. It’s really about who you’ve got around you during the holidays. Not the presents, or the food (not entirely anyway). So I think next year I’ll create my own holiday cheer. I don’t have to be alone if I don’t want to be. No I won’t have a large family to celebrate but family isn’t always just about blood. Friends make for good company too.